Behind the barista's cheery smile and the frothy lattes lies a rather pungent irony: these beloved establishments exist, in part, to help us...poop.
Yes, you read that right. While we sip our artisanal flat whites and nibble on oat milk scones, we're also subtly engaging in a ritual as old as beans themselves. Coffee, that dark, aromatic elixir, is more than just a morning pick-me-up. It's nature's laxative, a drink designed not only to wake you up but also to, well, move things along.
Isn't it curious that the very place we seek comfort and conversation is also the place we unconsciously prepare for, ahem, bathroom duties? We've turned a potent stimulant into a social event, oblivious to the fact that our beloved cup of joe is priming our bodies for an inevitable visit to the john.
Imagine if we embraced this truth: "Two lattes and a scone, please—and could you point me to the facilities while you’re at it?" Perhaps we'd all be a little more honest about the true reason we're queuing for that flat white. After all, it's not just the caffeine we're after—it's the inevitable relief that follows.
So next time you sit down in your local coffee shop, take a moment to appreciate the irony. You’re not just fueling your day; you’re priming the pump, so to speak. Embrace the coffee shop for what it is: a place dedicated to stimulating both the mind and the bowels.
It is convenient to think that by killing the head of the snake with fire and fury, the gophers will leave the garden alone. Recent history in the Middle East has shown that scenario to not only be false, but instead, the gophers reemerge more emboldened and there are holes everywhere in the garden.
Trump supporters are pointing the finger at Biden, but he's not to blame for inflation.
